jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
