Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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