Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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