ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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