Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just pee around me
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
