Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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