Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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