I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
