I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
