bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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