I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
