tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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