I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
