It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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