Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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