let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
