So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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