I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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