Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize