We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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