you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This house was built for laser tag.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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