I want to walk on stilts...naked
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
