i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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