ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
