You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
