it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
