You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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