Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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