She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
