nutella sex= disaster
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
pray to the hookup gods
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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