I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize