Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
In America we eat man semen.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
