Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
