Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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