Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
