I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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