The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
PANTIES FOUND
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