forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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