This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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