Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
