this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize