Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
