he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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