Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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(208): View more from Idaho

I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks

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(573): View more from Missouri

So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here

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(208): View more from Idaho

Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?

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(440): View more from Ohio

he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

(440): View more from Ohio

he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

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(425): View more from Washington

I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.

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