Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  can you pick me up an extra syllabus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i passed out in the shower again

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  (317): can you pick me up an extra syllabus (317): i passed out in the shower again http://tfl.nu/i8ap
  Replies (26) Good night (4309) Bad night (1119)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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  (814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo
  Replies (37) Good night (7301) Bad night (2060)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (4988) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking

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  (301): I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking http://tfl.nu/pou2
  Replies (4) Good night (3823) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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  (214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s
  Replies (22) Good night (8109) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.

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  (804): I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary. http://tfl.nu/ps0w
  Replies (6) Good night (1448) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.

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  (608): they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball. http://tfl.nu/n9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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  (910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15
  Replies (26) Good night (833) Bad night (2348)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.

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  (619): Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear. http://tfl.nu/20ls
  Replies (8) Good night (938) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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  (951): I'm sorry I peed on your everything. http://tfl.nu/ktzg
  Replies (5) Good night (748) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1206) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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  (507): You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success. http://tfl.nu/320u
  Replies (6) Good night (1485) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What a great time to reflect on life

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  (248): Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up (248): What a great time to reflect on life http://tfl.nu/lxxa
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto

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  (314): He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto http://tfl.nu/i261
  Replies (3) Good night (221) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.

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  (503): I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution. http://tfl.nu/pkk0
  Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (269)

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