Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

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(773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? http://tfl.nu/4514

Replies (28) Good night (2401) Bad night (625)
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(949): View more from California

how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?

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(949): how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to? http://tfl.nu/2e6r

Replies (17) Good night (587) Bad night (3502)
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(630): View more from Illinois

They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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(630): They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today. http://tfl.nu/t7wc

Replies (18) Good night (4573) Bad night (505)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits

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(615): of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits http://tfl.nu/a8zr

Replies (29) Good night (1582) Bad night (7584)
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(239): View more from Florida

all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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(239): all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut http://tfl.nu/x9ek

Replies (14) Good night (3636) Bad night (930)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.

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(215): Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing. http://tfl.nu/grk7

Replies (9) Good night (3358) Bad night (1110)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.

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(219): Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine. http://tfl.nu/fc29

Replies (6) Good night (3678) Bad night (1219)
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(540): View more from Virginia

my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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(540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l

Replies (25) Good night (1773) Bad night (849)
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(954): View more from Florida

My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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(954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7

Replies (7) Good night (1822) Bad night (419)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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(302): Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you. http://tfl.nu/p99c

Replies (7) Good night (1419) Bad night (508)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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(715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg

Replies (3) Good night (1420) Bad night (406)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.

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(781): i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens. http://tfl.nu/yex4

Replies (6) Good night (1264) Bad night (486)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him

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(484): you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him http://tfl.nu/re5m

Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (313)
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(519): View more from Ontario

we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

(226): View more from Ontario

did I at least say anything...

(519): View more from Ontario

you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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(519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh

Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (397)
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(214): View more from Texas

Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

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(214): Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/wbcl

Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (306)

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