Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.

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  (707): drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs. http://tfl.nu/ujxz
  Replies (24) Good night (3785) Bad night (861)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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  (617): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness? http://tfl.nu/575t
  Replies (18) Good night (5678) Bad night (837)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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  (269): I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals http://tfl.nu/d194
  Replies (4) Good night (2571) Bad night (959)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.

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  (812): Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/e7sj
  Replies (14) Good night (7017) Bad night (1619)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.

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  (405): Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door. http://tfl.nu/5l3p
  Replies (5) Good night (2936) Bad night (799)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.

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  (206): Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year. http://tfl.nu/cw7s
  Replies (2) Good night (3781) Bad night (932)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (1135)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?

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  (914): He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message? http://tfl.nu/czyz
  Replies (7) Good night (2027) Bad night (534)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group

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  (708): you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group http://tfl.nu/bihz
  Replies (12) Good night (1443) Bad night (614)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

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  (303): I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive (1-303): Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose http://tfl.nu/eyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (608)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.

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  (602): But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at. http://tfl.nu/pftw
  Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (437)
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  (716): View more from New York

  There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.

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  (716): There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now. http://tfl.nu/bttm
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (1022)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.

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  (330): Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me. http://tfl.nu/bro7
  Replies (9) Good night (1145) Bad night (442)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.

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  (813): IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY. http://tfl.nu/73q8
  Replies (15) Good night (804) Bad night (1399)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.

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  (914): Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block. http://tfl.nu/om9a
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (352)

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