Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.

  (585): View more from New York

  I hate you.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.

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  (314): My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers. (585): I hate you. (314): To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me. http://tfl.nu/wpxa
  Replies (23) Good night (3221) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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  (732): i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!! http://tfl.nu/t5uq
  Replies (80) Good night (7586) Bad night (2725)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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  (303): You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad http://tfl.nu/1udj
  Replies (13) Good night (1891) Bad night (4993)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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  (304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o
  Replies (17) Good night (1230) Bad night (5726)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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  (925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2
  Replies (4) Good night (2994) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??

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  (908): I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off?? http://tfl.nu/r74o
  Replies (4) Good night (1784) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation

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  (503): I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation http://tfl.nu/9svf
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

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  (228): Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me. http://tfl.nu/qpkp
  Replies (1) Good night (777) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"

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  (682): Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this" http://tfl.nu/tpaw
  Replies (1) Good night (1439) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing

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  (360): I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing http://tfl.nu/tjmj
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."

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  (201): I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl." http://tfl.nu/ji6j
  Replies (4) Good night (1973) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.

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  (330): Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce. http://tfl.nu/fes5
  Replies (5) Good night (521) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.

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  (814): Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good. http://tfl.nu/cttc
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.

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  (202): Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone. http://tfl.nu/t31y
  Replies (25) Good night (376) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!

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  (310): I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?! http://tfl.nu/1qvi
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (430)

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