It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i've created a new STD.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize