He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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