yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
