elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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