drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
