I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
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I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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