Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Send help, water and tortillas.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
