i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
