wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
