just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
