I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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