she was so not down for the gang bang
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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