Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
