super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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